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[■■]

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>>YOU'RE WATCHING "PICNICFACE".

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TO SEE THE FULL EPISODE,

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ALONG WITH BONUS FEATURES,

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BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE,

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BECOME A PREMIUM MEMBER.

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VISIT WWW.PREMIUMMEMBERSHIP.CA

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TO GET THE FULL PLATINUM MEMBER

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EXPERIENCE!

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[■■]

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[EVANY] HELLO.

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[CHERYL] HEY.

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[EVANY] SO AS YOU CAN IMAGINE,

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AS THE ONLY TWO WOMEN IN THE

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GROUP, CHERYL AND I GET A

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LOT OF WEIRD REQUESTS.

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[CHERYL] YEAH, GUYS ARE ALWAYS

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EMAILING US SAYING LIKE,

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"YOU GUYS SHOULD KISS"

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AND STUFF. AND LIKE TOUCH...

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FOR MEN.

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[EVANY] GROSS.

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BUT MEN, TRUTH BE TOLD,

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YOU WANT.

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THAT'S RIGHT.

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CHERYL AND I ARE GOING TO KISS.

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[CHERYL] THIS IS SO CRAZY.

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[EVANY] WE NEVER DO STUFF LIKE

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THIS. I AM SO DRUNK!

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[CHERYL] I AM SO DRUNK!

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[CHERYL/EVANY] (LAUGHING)

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■BONER-DUST!■

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■BO-BO-BONER-DUST!■

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■BONER-DUST!■

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■BO-BO-BONER-DUST■

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[CHERYL/EVANY] BONER-DUST.

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[EVANY] DO YOU WANT TO GO MAKE

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OUT IN MY CAR?

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(BIRDS CHIRPING)

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[ANDREW] MR. FERGUSON.

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HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?

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[SCOTT] IT'S TOUGH. MY FATHER

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AND I WERE PRETTY CLOSE.

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[ANDREW] I UNDERSTAND. THIS

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PROBABLY ISN'T THE BEST TIME,

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BUT, UM, I HAVE A FEW FORMS I

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NEED YOU TO SIGN. ANDERSON

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FUNERAL HOME WILL TAKE CARE OF

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THE REST.

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SIGNING?

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LIABILITY FORM, RELEASING OUR

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COMPANY FROM ANY RESPONSIBILITY

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SHOULD ANYTHING HAPPEN BETWEEN

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NOW AND THE TIME OF BURIAL.

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[SCOTT] WHAT KIND OF THINGS?

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LIKE...

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[ANDREW] OH, LIKELY NOTHING, BUT

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IF... THE BODY WERE TO FALL,

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OR BREAK AN ARM,

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OR IF THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT

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INVOLVING JUICE.

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[SCOTT] SORRY, JUICE?

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[ANDREW] YES, JUICE.

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[SCOTT] I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

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WAS A JUICE... RE-- RELATED

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ACCIDENT. IF YOU, UH-- IF YOU

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JUST WANT TO SIGN THAT.

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[SCOTT] WHAT KIND OF ACCIDENT

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COULD INVOLVE JUICE?

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[ANDREW] LIKELY NOTHING.

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[SCOTT] IT SAYS "JUICE" IN HERE.

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THERE'S A WHOLE CLAUSE.

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[ANDREW] DOES IT?

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[SCOTT] YEAH.

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"ANDERSON FUNERAL HOMES WILL

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NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY

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JUICE RELATED ACCIDENTS."

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[ANDREW] OH, IT DOES. THAT MUST

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BE A TYPO. I'LL JUST TAKE CARE

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OF THAT FOR YOU. I'M SORRY ABOUT

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THAT. I'LL JUST INTIAL THAT.

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THERE YOU GO.

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AGAIN.

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[ANDREW] YEAH!

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[ANDREW] YOUR FATHER'S FINE.

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THERE'S NO--

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[SCOTT] I WANT TO SEE MY FATHER.

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[ANDREW] JUICE.

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[■■]

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[SCOTT] OPEN THE COFFIN.

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I WANT TO SEE MY FATHER.

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OPEN IT!

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OPEN UP THE COFFIN!

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I WANT TO SEE HIM NOW!

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[ANDREW] ALL RIGHT. HERE IS THE

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TOP HALF OF YOUR FATHER. AND

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HERE IS THE BOTTOM HALF OF YOUR

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FATHER.

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[SCOTT] WHY CAN'T I SEE ALL OF

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HIM?

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[ANDREW] YOU DID.

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[SCOTT] NO I DIDN'T!

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[ANDREW] YES, YOU DID.

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[■■]

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[SCOTT] HE'S FINE.

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[ANDREW] (SLURPING)

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JUICE?

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[ANDREW] (SLURPING)

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[SCOTT] WHAT'S GOING ON?!

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WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

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>>DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS

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SKETCH ENDS?

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VISIT WWW.PREMIUMMEMBERSHIP.CA

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FOR FULL UNINTERRUPTED SKETCHES

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AND CRUCIAL MOMENTS.

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PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP.

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BENEFITS INCLUDE BONUS FOOTAGE,

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AND EXTRAS. INCLUDING NEVER

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BEFORE SEE SKETCHES,

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[■■]

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[■■]

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>>GET THE FULL EXPERIENCE.

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>>GET THE PLATINUM MEMBER

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(PHONE RINGING)

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[BILL] HELLO?

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[CAPT'N MACINTYRE] ALL ABOARD.

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THIS IS CAPTAIN MACINTYRE, AND

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YOU'VE JUST WON AN ALL EXPENSES

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PAID TRIP WITH,

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"FIESTA CRUISING VACATIONS".

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PRESS 1 TO ACCESS OUR

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COMPLETE-- (STATIC)

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>>WHAT WAS THAT?

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WHAT'S GOING ON?

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>>IT'S AN ICEBERG, SIR.

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[CAPT'N MACINTYRE] TURN THE

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SHIP! TURN THE GODDAMN SHIP!

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(INAUDIBLE)

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>>WE'RE TAKING ON WATER.

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WE HAVE TO MAKE OUR WAY--

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[CAPT'N MACINTYRE] GET EVERYONE

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OFF THE SHIP!

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>>SIR, I CAN'T LEAVE!

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[CAPT'N MACINTYRE] LISTEN TO ME!

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[CHERYL] WHO WAS IT, HONEY?

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[■■]

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[BILL] WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?

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>>WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?

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LOG IN NOW AT,

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PREMIUMMEMBERSHIP.CA

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TO CAST YOUR VOTE.

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>>PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP.

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(RIP)

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[■■]

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[BILL] SO WHO DID YOU TAKE TO

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THAT MOVIE LAST NIGHT?

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[KYLE] YOUR MOM.

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[BILL] MY MOM'S DEAD.

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OH MY GOD! SHE'S BACK?

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[■■]

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■REMEMBER ALL THE FUN WE HAD

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WITH THIS SKETCH■

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■IT STARTED OUT

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WITH BILL AND KYLE

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DRINKING BEERS ON A BENCH■

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■BILL SAID,

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"WHO'D YOU TAKE TO THAT MOVIE

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LAST NIGHT?"■

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■KYLE SAID,

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"YOUR MOM"■

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■BILL SAID,

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"BUT MY MOM'S DEAD"■

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■"OH MY GOD, SHE'S BACK.

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AND SHE'S DATING MY FRIENDS"■

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■AND THEN WE FROZE

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ON BILL'S FACE■

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■AND THEN I STARTED SINGING

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ABOUT THIS SKETCH■

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■I SANG ABOUT HOW SOMETIMES

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YOUR MOM COMES BACK

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AND DATES YOUR FRIENDS■

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■AND I SAID,

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"BILL AND KYLE

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SAT ON THE BENCH, TALKING ABOUT

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WHO KYLE WENT TO THE MOVIE WITH■

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■AND IT WAS ALL FOR YOU JOHN.

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(PIANO)

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[CHILD] DADA.

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[FATHER] DID YOU HEAR THAT

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HONEY? HE SAID MY NAME!

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[CHILD] MAMA, I PICKED FLOWERS.

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[CHILD] DADDY AND I CAUGHT TWO

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FISH.

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[CHILD] I LIKE HOW GRASS SMELLS.

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[CHILD] I LOVE YOU MOMMY.

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[MOTHER] MOMMY LOVES YOU TOO,

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SWEETHEART.

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[CHILD] I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.

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[MOTHER] JOHN, I DON'T--

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I DON'T THINK THIS IS NORMAL.

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(MONSTROUS GROWL)

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(SCREAMING)

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[FATHER] GET BACK!

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YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER!

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(GUNSHOTS)

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[■■]

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>>OH HEY, WHAT'S UP JAMIE?

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[JAMIE] YO, WHAT'S UP, BUD?

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>>JAMIE, THAT SWEATSHIRT'S THE

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BEST.

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[JAMIE] THIS IS THE KIND OF

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SWEATSHIRT THAT I KNOW I CAN

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WEAR OUT OF MY HOUSE.

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>>YEAH.

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[JAMIE] AND IT'S GONNA LOOK GOOD

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ON ME, NO MATTER WHAT.

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>>OH, THAT THING'S GOT TROLLS

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ON IT, JAMIE.

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HOCKEY.

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>>TROLLS PLAYING HOCKEY.

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[JAMIE] YEAH, THEY'RE HOCKEY

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TROLLS.

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>>YEAH.

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[JAMIE] HEY, WE SHOULD GET TO

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CLASS, CAUSE WE'RE GONNA BE

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[■■]

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[NARRATOR] SWEATSHIRTS.

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EVERY DAY, THOUSANDS OF TEENS

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RECEIVE COMPLIMENTS ON THEIR

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SWEATSHIRTS. BUT HAVE YOU EVER

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WONDERED HOW A SWEATSHIRT GETS

232
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MADE? WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?

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AND HOW DOES IT GET MADE?

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AFTER ALL, YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT.

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NOT UNLESS YOU'RE A CALVIN KLEIN

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OR A TREVOR CLUB MONACO. TO

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FIND OUT, LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO

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YOUR LOCAL MALL.

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(SODA POURING)

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[NARRATOR] THE LOCAL MALL.

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HOME OF THE FOOD COURT,

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THE PREGNANT LADY TIME LAPSE

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PHOTO DISPLAY,

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AND THE SWEATSHIRT STORE.

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EVERY DAY THE MANAGERS OF THIS

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STORE RECEIVE REQUESTS FOR

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SWEATSHIRTS FROM TEENS LIKE

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THIS.

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THIS TEEN IS REQUESTING A

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SWEATSHIRT WITH COOL SLEEVES

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AND NO GAY STUFF.

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THIS REQUEST WILL BE SENT ALL

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THE WAY TO ENGLAND.

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HERE IN ENGLAND,

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WIDOWS MAKE THE THREAD THAT GOES

256
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INTO YOUR SWEATSHIRTS.

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HOW DO THEY MAKE THE THREAD?

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>>WHAT YOU WANNA KNOW?!

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WHAT YOU WANNA KNOW?!

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[NARRATOR] ONCE THE THREAD IS

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00:09:44,027 --> 00:09:44,569
READY, THEY SEND IT TO THE LAB,

262
00:09:45,278 --> 00:09:45,696
WHERE IT IS MIXED WITH MALE

263
00:09:46,613 --> 00:09:47,614
SPERMATOZOA AND INJECTED INTO A

264
00:09:48,365 --> 00:09:49,241
WOMAN. THE WOMAN WILL BECOME

265
00:09:49,991 --> 00:09:50,701
PREGNANT, AND IN NINE MONTHS,

266
00:09:51,576 --> 00:09:51,785
SHE WILL GIVE BIRTH TO A

267
00:09:52,452 --> 00:09:53,245
BEAUTIFUL NEW SWEATSHIRT,

268
00:09:53,870 --> 00:09:54,579
FEATURING COOL SLEEVES

269
00:09:55,122 --> 00:09:55,956
AND NO GAY STUFF.

270
00:09:56,456 --> 00:09:57,124
PRETTY COOL, HUH?

271
00:09:57,791 --> 00:09:57,874
>>YOU SEE THAT TEACHER'S

272
00:09:58,625 --> 00:09:59,167
FACE WHEN WE WALKED INTO CLASS,

273
00:09:59,501 --> 00:10:00,252
JAMIE?

274
00:10:01,002 --> 00:10:01,253
[JAMIE] SHE COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW

275
00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:03,088
ON TIME WE WERE, FLABBERGASTED

276
00:10:03,588 --> 00:10:03,880
THE WHOLE CLASS.

277
00:10:04,214 --> 00:10:04,381
>>BOOM!

278
00:10:05,132 --> 00:10:05,340
[JAMIE] FLIP THEM ALL ON THEIR

279
00:10:05,966 --> 00:10:06,341
HEADS, BECAUSE WE WERE SO

280
00:10:06,717 --> 00:10:06,758
PUNCTUAL.

281
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:07,384
>>BOOM JAMIE!

282
00:10:08,135 --> 00:10:08,385
[JAMIE] BEST RECORD FOR MOST

283
00:10:08,927 --> 00:10:09,720
TIMES PUNCTUALLY...

284
00:10:10,429 --> 00:10:10,721
ON TIME IN ROW.

285
00:10:11,346 --> 00:10:11,388
>>HA HA.

286
00:10:12,055 --> 00:10:12,472
[JAMIE] AND, IN ADDITION TO

287
00:10:12,848 --> 00:10:12,889
WHICH...

288
00:10:13,223 --> 00:10:13,265
>>BOOM BOOM!

289
00:10:13,932 --> 00:10:13,974
[JAMIE] ...WE SHOULD GET TO OUR

290
00:10:14,641 --> 00:10:14,725
>>YEAH!

291
00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:15,599
[JAMIE] BECAUSE THE CLOCK IS

292
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:15,726
TICKING.

293
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:16,601
>>FINISH YOUR SENTENCE.

294
00:10:17,352 --> 00:10:17,394
[JAMIE] AND WE WON'T WANT TO

295
00:10:17,686 --> 00:10:17,769
BREAK THE STREAK WHILE WE'RE

296
00:10:18,103 --> 00:10:18,228
HOT.

297
00:10:19,229 --> 00:10:20,564
[■■]

298
00:10:21,189 --> 00:10:23,734
>>PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP.

299
00:10:26,278 --> 00:10:28,822
(OWL HOOTING)

300
00:10:29,406 --> 00:10:34,619
(GHOSTLY GROANING)

301
00:10:35,162 --> 00:10:35,871
[SCOTT] HELLO?

302
00:10:36,329 --> 00:10:37,289
[GHOST] YOU.

303
00:10:37,914 --> 00:10:38,457
YOU WERE A GREEDY MAN.

304
00:10:39,124 --> 00:10:40,959
AND UNLESS YOU CHANGE YOUR

305
00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:43,754
WAYS, YOU'LL BE DAMNED FOR ALL

306
00:10:44,504 --> 00:10:46,673
ETERNITY. TONIGHT, WHILE YOU

307
00:10:47,466 --> 00:10:50,677
SLEEP, YOU WILL BE VISITED BY 14

308
00:10:51,052 --> 00:10:52,846
GHOSTS.

309
00:10:53,263 --> 00:10:54,639
[SCOTT] 14?

310
00:10:55,223 --> 00:10:56,850
[GHOST] 14 GHOSTS.

311
00:10:57,309 --> 00:10:58,727
ONE AN HOUR.

312
00:10:59,519 --> 00:11:01,188
THE FIRST GHOST IS THE GHOST OF

313
00:11:01,646 --> 00:11:03,190
CHRISTMAS PAST.

314
00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:04,483
THE SECOND GHOST, IS THE GHOST--

315
00:11:05,192 --> 00:11:05,317
[SCOTT] IF ONE COMES AN HOUR,

316
00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:07,194
I ONLY SLEEP, LIKE SIX/SEVEN

317
00:11:07,569 --> 00:11:09,613
HOURS...

318
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:10,530
DO I NEED TO BE ASLEEP?

319
00:11:11,281 --> 00:11:13,033
[GHOST] THEN YOU WERE SLEEPING!

320
00:11:13,784 --> 00:11:14,618
THE THIRD GHOST IS THE GHOST OF

321
00:11:15,368 --> 00:11:18,246
CHRISTMAS FUTURE. THE FOURTH

322
00:11:18,914 --> 00:11:21,666
GHOST IS THE GHOST OF THE

323
00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:24,211
NUMBER FOUR. THE FIFTH GHOST--

324
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:25,170
[SCOTT] THE NUMBER FOUR HAS A

325
00:11:25,545 --> 00:11:26,171
GHOST?

326
00:11:26,922 --> 00:11:27,631
[GHOST] THE FIFTH GHOST IS THE

327
00:11:28,423 --> 00:11:30,759
GHOST OF THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS

328
00:11:31,092 --> 00:11:32,177
PAST.

329
00:11:32,803 --> 00:11:32,844
[SCOTT] I'M NOT GOING TO

330
00:11:33,386 --> 00:11:33,637
REMEMBER ALL THIS.

331
00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:34,387
SO JUST MAYBE--

332
00:11:35,096 --> 00:11:35,806
[GHOST] THE SIXTH GHOST!--

333
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:36,807
[SCOTT] JUST INTRODUCE THEM ONE

334
00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:37,432
AT A TIME--

335
00:11:38,099 --> 00:11:39,601
[GHOST] THE SIXTH GHOST, IS THE

336
00:11:40,352 --> 00:11:42,979
GHOST OF SHOWING UP TOO EARLY.

337
00:11:43,605 --> 00:11:44,231
THE SEVENTH GHOST IS--

338
00:11:44,815 --> 00:11:54,449
(GHOSTLY GROANING)

339
00:11:55,075 --> 00:11:55,116
[GHOST "EARLY"] AM I--

340
00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:56,535
[GHOST] YES, YOU'RE EARLY.

341
00:11:57,202 --> 00:11:57,243
[GHOST "EARLY"] I'M ALWAYS

342
00:11:57,244 --> 00:11:57,369
EARLY.

343
00:11:58,036 --> 00:11:58,078
[GHOST] YES, YOU'RE ALWAYS

344
00:11:58,370 --> 00:11:58,829
EARLY.

345
00:11:59,621 --> 00:11:59,663
[GHOST "EARLY"] AM I THE FIRST--

346
00:12:00,247 --> 00:12:00,539
[GHOST] YES, YOU'RE THE FIRST

347
00:12:00,914 --> 00:12:01,039
GHOST.

348
00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:01,832
[GHOST "EARLY"] YES, I'M ALWAYS

349
00:12:02,415 --> 00:12:02,624
THE FIRST GHOST.

350
00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:03,416
[GHOST] YES, YOU'RE ALWAYS THE

351
00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:04,501
FIRST GHOST.

352
00:12:05,252 --> 00:12:05,961
[GHOST "EARLY"] YOU SHOULD JUST

353
00:12:06,503 --> 00:12:07,838
INTRODUCE ME FIRST.

354
00:12:08,964 --> 00:12:09,089
POINT, NOW, WOULDN'T IT?

355
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:09,881
[GHOST "EARLY"] BECAUSE I'M THE

356
00:12:10,298 --> 00:12:10,757
GHOST THAT SHOWS UP EARLY.

357
00:12:11,258 --> 00:12:11,633
[GHOST] YES.

358
00:12:12,133 --> 00:12:13,385
EBENEZER SCROOGE!

359
00:12:14,052 --> 00:12:15,512
YOU HAVE BEEN A GREEDY MAN.

360
00:12:15,971 --> 00:12:16,012
[SCOTT] WHOA.

361
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:16,847
[GHOST] AND UNLESS YOU CHANGE

362
00:12:17,389 --> 00:12:17,472
YOUR--

363
00:12:18,098 --> 00:12:19,349
[SCOTT] WHO IS EBENEZER

364
00:12:19,724 --> 00:12:23,311
SCROOGE?

365
00:12:23,979 --> 00:12:24,855
[GHOST] YOU ARE EBENEZER

366
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,523
SCROOGE!

367
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:28,650
[SCOTT] I'M JEFF SPARKS.

368
00:12:29,109 --> 00:12:30,527
JEFF SPARKS.

369
00:12:31,278 --> 00:12:33,613
[GHOST] IS THIS DECEMBER 25TH,

370
00:12:33,947 --> 00:12:34,865
1914?

371
00:12:35,699 --> 00:12:36,825
[SCOTT] NO, IT'S, JUNE 20TH,

372
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,035
2011.

373
00:12:39,786 --> 00:12:40,245
[GHOST] WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO.

374
00:12:40,829 --> 00:12:41,621
[GHOST "EARLY"] YEAH.

375
00:12:42,372 --> 00:12:42,873
[GHOST] ALL RIGHT. WELL, UH...

376
00:12:43,707 --> 00:12:44,708
WE'RE SORRY, JEFF SPARKS FOR ALL

377
00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:46,543
THIS.

378
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:47,252
LET'S GO.

379
00:12:48,003 --> 00:12:48,044
[GHOST "EARLY"] WE CAN TAKE MY

380
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:48,795
CAR.

381
00:12:49,462 --> 00:12:49,588
[GHOST] YOU HAVE A CAR?

382
00:12:50,213 --> 00:12:50,255
WHY DO YOU HAVE A CAR?

383
00:12:51,381 --> 00:12:54,175
[■■]

384
00:12:54,885 --> 00:12:55,343
[SCOTT] DID I DO ALL RIGHT,

385
00:12:55,802 --> 00:12:56,177
MR. SCROOGE?

386
00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:56,845
[SCROOGE] WELL DONE,

387
00:12:57,596 --> 00:12:58,889
JEFF SPARKS. YOU PUT THOSE

388
00:12:59,598 --> 00:13:01,308
GHOSTS RIGHT OFF MY TAIL.

389
00:13:01,808 --> 00:13:02,475
AWAY WITH YOU!

390
00:13:02,976 --> 00:13:03,768
TO THE FACTORY.

391
00:13:04,519 --> 00:13:05,145
TO THE FACTORY WITH YOUR SAD,

392
00:13:14,195 --> 00:13:32,422
[■■]

393
00:13:33,089 --> 00:13:33,673
>>GET THE PLATINUM MEMBER

394
00:13:45,518 --> 00:13:49,314
[■■]

395
00:13:49,689 --> 00:13:49,773
>>VISIT

396
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,650
WWW.PREMIUMMEMBERSHIP.CA

397
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:52,567
TO GET THE FULL PLATINUM MEMBER

398
00:13:52,984 --> 00:13:55,236
EXPERIENCE.

399
00:13:55,987 --> 00:13:56,696
[SCOTT] HEY EVERYONE. WE GET A

400
00:13:57,447 --> 00:13:58,531
LOT OF FAN MAIL AND FAN ART, BUT

401
00:13:59,282 --> 00:13:59,950
RECENTLY WE RECEIVED SOMETHING

402
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,786
THAT REALLY CROSSED THE LINE.

403
00:14:03,578 --> 00:14:04,788
OUR NAME IS "PICNICFACE", BUT

404
00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:07,248
SENDING US PICNIC BASKETS WITH

405
00:14:07,999 --> 00:14:11,753
FACES IN THEM ISN'T APPROPRIATE.

406
00:14:12,379 --> 00:14:18,259
IT'S DISGUSTING. AND...

407
00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:21,638
IF YOU RECOGNIZE THIS

408
00:14:22,347 --> 00:14:23,223
OR WHATEVER IT BELONGS TO,

409
00:14:23,848 --> 00:14:26,476
PLEASE CALL THE POLICE,

410
00:14:26,977 --> 00:14:27,727
CALL A HOSPITAL.

411
00:14:28,478 --> 00:14:28,812
JUST-- WE NEED TO GET IN TOUCH

412
00:14:29,521 --> 00:14:29,813
WITH THIS PERSON AND MAKE

413
00:14:30,438 --> 00:14:30,981
SURE THAT THEY'RE OKAY,

414
00:14:31,690 --> 00:14:31,731
AND THAT THEY GET--

415
00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:32,899
[FAN] WHAT'S UP MAN?!

416
00:14:33,274 --> 00:14:33,900
HA HA!

417
00:14:34,359 --> 00:14:34,526
WHAT'S UP!?

418
00:14:35,235 --> 00:14:35,902
IT'S SCOTT FRIGGIN' VROOMAN,

419
00:14:36,277 --> 00:14:36,820
MAN!

420
00:14:37,529 --> 00:14:37,696
[SCOTT] THIS IS YOUR FACE?!

421
00:14:38,363 --> 00:14:39,030
[FAN] YOU GOT MY FACE, BRO!

422
00:14:39,739 --> 00:14:42,534
WOO! PICNICFACE! PICNICFACE!

423
00:14:43,243 --> 00:14:44,786
WHOA SHIT, MAN, I'M ON TV!

424
00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:46,871
OH MY GOD.

425
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:47,872
I BET YOU MY BUDDIES ARE

426
00:14:48,498 --> 00:14:49,499
WATCHING THIS, MAN.

427
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,251
[FAN] LET'S DO SOME SHOTS!

428
00:14:51,543 --> 00:14:53,003
OW!

429
00:14:53,628 --> 00:14:55,839
(SCREAMING)

430
00:14:56,506 --> 00:14:57,507
[FAN] SHOUT OUTS TO JOAN.

431
00:14:58,258 --> 00:15:00,010
SHOUT OUTS TO JOHNNY AND TRIM.

432
00:15:20,405 --> 00:15:28,288
[■■]

433
00:15:28,955 --> 00:15:29,039
■TELL ME, WHAT'S THE FUTURE

434
00:15:29,789 --> 00:15:30,707
OF FASHION, CHERYL■

435
00:15:31,374 --> 00:15:32,792
[CHERYL] (GASP) SWEATERS.

436
00:15:33,460 --> 00:15:33,501
■TELL ME, WHAT'S THE FUTURE

437
00:15:33,877 --> 00:15:35,045
OF FASHION, CHERYL■

438
00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:36,963
[CHERYL] (GASP) CROP TOPS.

439
00:15:37,672 --> 00:15:37,881
■TELL ME, WHAT'S THE FUTURE

440
00:15:38,423 --> 00:15:39,257
OF FASHION, CHERYL■

441
00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:41,051
[CHERYL] (GASP) ANKLETS.

442
00:15:41,968 --> 00:15:42,260
■TELL ME, WHAT'S THE FUTURE

443
00:15:42,802 --> 00:15:43,720
OF FASHION, CHERYL■

444
00:15:44,429 --> 00:15:45,055
[CHERYL] (GASP) HEADBANDS.

445
00:15:46,306 --> 00:15:46,639
■SWEATERS, CROP TOPS,

446
00:15:47,223 --> 00:15:47,807
ANKLETS, HEADBANDS■

447
00:15:48,391 --> 00:15:48,933
■SWEATERS, CROP TOPS,

448
00:15:49,559 --> 00:15:50,060
ANKLETS, HEADBANDS■

449
00:15:50,685 --> 00:15:51,061
■SWEATERS, SWEATERS,

450
00:15:51,853 --> 00:15:53,104
SHE SAID SWEATERS■

451
00:15:53,646 --> 00:15:54,189
■SHE SAID SWEATERS■

452
00:15:54,773 --> 00:15:55,982
■JEANS, JEANS, JEANS,

453
00:15:56,608 --> 00:15:57,942
SHE NEVER SAID JEANS■

454
00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:01,780
[■■]

455
00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:02,572
[BRIAN] HEY MAN, ARE YOU DIGGING

456
00:16:03,156 --> 00:16:03,907
THAT HOT DOG OR WHAT?

457
00:16:04,532 --> 00:16:05,241
[KYLE] OH YEAH, LOVE IT.

458
00:16:05,992 --> 00:16:06,034
[BRIAN] YOU GOT RELISH ON THAT

459
00:16:06,409 --> 00:16:06,618
THING?

460
00:16:07,077 --> 00:16:07,786
[KYLE] TOTALLY.

461
00:16:08,495 --> 00:16:08,703
[BRIAN] WHAT ABOUT BBQ SAUCE?

462
00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:10,080
[KYLE] OH YEAH, FOR SURE.

463
00:16:10,955 --> 00:16:11,081
[BRIAN] YEAH, YOU WOULD.

464
00:16:11,956 --> 00:16:12,165
[KYLE] WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

465
00:16:12,749 --> 00:16:12,999
[BRIAN] YOU WOULD.

466
00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:14,834
YOU WOULD LIKE BBQ SAUCE.

467
00:16:15,502 --> 00:16:16,086
[KYLE] WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I"

468
00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:16,920
WOULD THOUGH?

469
00:16:17,545 --> 00:16:17,587
[BRIAN] I DON'T KNOW.

470
00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:18,004
YOU JUST LIKE IT.

471
00:16:18,797 --> 00:16:19,422
[KYLE] OKAY, I GET THAT "I" LIKE

472
00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:20,924
IT. BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN

473
00:16:21,341 --> 00:16:22,092
EXACTLY?

474
00:16:22,926 --> 00:16:23,301
[BRIAN] I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

475
00:16:24,052 --> 00:16:25,178
[KYLE] NO! TELL ME SPECIFICALLY

476
00:16:25,845 --> 00:16:28,098
WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME AND BBQ

477
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:29,140
SAUCE?!

478
00:16:29,724 --> 00:16:29,891
[BRIAN] I DON'T KNOW.

479
00:16:30,308 --> 00:16:30,350
YOU JUST--

480
00:16:30,892 --> 00:16:31,142
[KYLE] JUST TELL ME!

481
00:16:31,893 --> 00:16:31,934
[BRIAN] YOU JUST PUT IT ON LOTS

482
00:16:31,935 --> 00:16:32,102
OF THINGS!

483
00:16:32,685 --> 00:16:32,769
[KYLE] YEAH?

484
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:33,561
[BRIAN] YEAH! YOU PUT IT ON YOUR

485
00:16:33,978 --> 00:16:34,104
TOAST THIS MORNING.

486
00:16:34,729 --> 00:16:34,771
[KYLE] YEAH?

487
00:16:35,438 --> 00:16:35,688
[BRIAN] AND YOU HAD TO THROW OUT

488
00:16:36,397 --> 00:16:36,606
YOUR WALLET BECAUSE IT WAS

489
00:16:37,107 --> 00:16:37,190
COVERED IN IT.

490
00:16:37,941 --> 00:16:38,483
[KYLE] AND WHAT IS YOUR POINT?

491
00:16:39,234 --> 00:16:39,526
[BRIAN] THE BREAKS ON YOUR CAR

492
00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:40,735
DON'T WORK ANY MORE.

493
00:16:41,402 --> 00:16:41,736
AND THE S.P.C.A HAD TO TAKE

494
00:16:42,195 --> 00:16:43,196
AWAY YOUR DOG

495
00:16:43,905 --> 00:16:44,656
[KYLE] I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT.

496
00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:47,117
I NEED HELP.

497
00:16:47,992 --> 00:16:48,033
[BRIAN] I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN

498
00:16:48,034 --> 00:16:48,868
DO.

499
00:16:49,953 --> 00:16:50,954
YOU'RE THE ONLY FRIEND I HAVE.

500
00:16:51,746 --> 00:16:52,080
[BRIAN] HEY, I'VE GOT PROBLEMS

501
00:16:52,539 --> 00:16:52,747
OF MY OWN.

502
00:16:53,414 --> 00:16:54,582
[KYLE] OH YEAH, LIKE WHAT?

503
00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:58,586
[BRIAN] LOOK IN MY MOUTH!

504
00:16:59,337 --> 00:16:59,379
[KYLE] I FORGOT ABOUT YOUR MOUTH

505
00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:00,797
NAPOLEON.

506
00:17:01,548 --> 00:17:01,881
[NAPOLEON] YOUR MOUTH IS NEXT

507
00:17:02,215 --> 00:17:03,299
KYLE.

508
00:17:04,008 --> 00:17:04,134
[KYLE] PLEASE DON'T KISS ME.

509
00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:06,136
[NAPOLEON] WE WILL KISS YOU...

510
00:17:06,761 --> 00:17:09,514
SOFTLY... AND SLOWLY.

511
00:17:10,014 --> 00:17:11,724
>>PPPPPPPREMIUM.

512
00:17:12,475 --> 00:17:12,976
>>SIGN UP NOW TO DOWNLOAD YOUR

513
00:17:13,726 --> 00:17:15,478
FREE RINGTONE: CLASSIC TRANCE.

514
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:17,272
(CLASSIC TRANCE)

515
00:17:17,772 --> 00:17:18,940
>>MELLOW VIBES.

516
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,900
(MELLOW VIBES)

517
00:17:21,317 --> 00:17:21,985
>>PURE VOX.

518
00:17:38,084 --> 00:17:46,092
[■■]

519
00:17:47,135 --> 00:17:47,177
>>DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW THIS

520
00:17:48,052 --> 00:17:48,636
SKETCH ENDS? THEN VISIT,

521
00:17:49,304 --> 00:17:51,014
WWW.PREMIUMMEMBERSHIP.CA

522
00:17:51,639 --> 00:17:52,182
PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP.

523
00:17:52,724 --> 00:17:53,224
BENEFITS INCLUDE,

524
00:17:53,725 --> 00:17:55,727
CAST INTERVIEWS.

525
00:17:56,477 --> 00:17:57,187
[SCOTT] NO, I'M NOT AFRAID OF

526
00:17:58,104 --> 00:17:58,479
HEIGHTS. I JUST, I DON'T CARE

527
00:17:59,230 --> 00:18:00,440
FOR THEM. I CAN'T BE BOTHERED.

528
00:18:01,065 --> 00:18:01,316
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY:

529
00:18:01,983 --> 00:18:04,194
HEIGHTS DO NOTHING FOR ME.

530
00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:05,612
[EVANY] BEAUTIFUL MIXED RACE

531
00:18:05,987 --> 00:18:06,779
BABIES.

532
00:18:07,488 --> 00:18:07,780
[MARK] (BEEP) I'LL BE KICKING

533
00:18:09,741 --> 00:18:13,036
[■■]

534
00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:14,204
>>PREMIUM MEMBER.

535
00:18:15,121 --> 00:18:16,372
THE PLATINUM MEMBER EXPERIENCE.

536
00:18:16,706 --> 00:18:19,209
WOO!

537
00:18:20,168 --> 00:18:23,213
[DIRECTOR] ALL RIGHT, AND CUT.

538
00:18:24,047 --> 00:18:24,087
[DIRECTOR] OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.

539
00:18:24,088 --> 00:18:25,006
WE GOT IT.

540
00:18:25,673 --> 00:18:25,715
THAT'S A WRAP FOR TODAY.

541
00:18:25,965 --> 00:18:26,591
THANK YOU.

542
00:18:30,094 --> 00:18:56,996
[■■]

543
00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:57,455
(LAUGHTER)

544
00:18:58,039 --> 00:18:59,249
[MEMORY] PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP.

545
00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:00,333
PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP.

546
00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:16,099
[■■]

547
00:19:16,766 --> 00:19:17,600
[WIFE] (SIGH) COME TO BED.

548
00:19:18,059 --> 00:19:18,268
>>YEAH (SIGH).

549
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:21,271
SOON AS I LEARN THESE LINES.

550
00:19:22,063 --> 00:19:23,273
[WIFE] THEY WORK YOU TOO HARD.

551
00:19:24,065 --> 00:19:27,151
>>YEAH, THAT'S MY JOB.

552
00:19:27,819 --> 00:19:29,946
DID MICHAEL COME HOME?

553
00:19:30,446 --> 00:19:31,364
[WIFE] NOT YET.

554
00:19:31,864 --> 00:19:34,659
(PHONE RINGING)

555
00:19:35,118 --> 00:19:37,537
[WIFE] HELLO?

556
00:19:38,079 --> 00:19:40,290
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

557
00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:43,418
IS HE OKAY?

558
00:19:43,835 --> 00:19:44,877
OH MY GOD.

559
00:19:45,295 --> 00:19:47,922
OH MY GOD!

560
00:19:48,548 --> 00:19:48,589
[WIFE] MICHAEL'S IN THE

561
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:49,299
HOSPITAL.

562
00:19:49,882 --> 00:19:50,091
>>THE HOSPITAL?!

563
00:19:50,842 --> 00:19:51,301
[WIFE] THERE'S BEEN AN ACCIDENT.

564
00:19:52,218 --> 00:19:52,802
>>OH MY GOD! IS HE ALL RIGHT?

565
00:19:53,386 --> 00:19:58,224
[WIFE] HE'S-- HE'S--

566
00:19:58,766 --> 00:20:00,518
>>PREMIUM MEMBER.

567
00:20:01,227 --> 00:20:04,314
FIND OUT IF MY SON SURVIVED

568
00:20:04,939 --> 00:20:06,274
BY VISITING.

569
00:20:06,899 --> 00:20:09,319
PREMIUMMEMBERSHIP.CA.

570
00:20:10,236 --> 00:20:11,404
PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP FOR THE

571
00:20:11,904 --> 00:20:13,406
PLATINUM MEMBER--

572
00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:14,907
YOU KNOW WHAT?

573
00:20:15,283 --> 00:20:15,992
SCREW IT!

574
00:20:16,743 --> 00:20:18,828
SPOILER ALERT: MY SON IS DEAD!

575
00:20:19,287 --> 00:20:20,330
(GUN COCKING)

576
00:20:21,122 --> 00:20:21,164
[DIRECTOR] HE'S GOT A GUN!

577
00:20:21,914 --> 00:20:22,081
[BILL] FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO

578
00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:23,291
THE PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP GUY BY

579
00:20:23,958 --> 00:20:24,250
SIGNING UP FOR PREMIUM

580
00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:25,209
MEMBERSHIP AT,

581
00:20:25,918 --> 00:20:28,338
WWW.PREMIUMMEMBERSHIP.CA.

582
00:20:29,088 --> 00:20:29,547
PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP.

583
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:31,257
THE PLATINUM EXPERIENCE.

584
00:20:35,136 --> 00:20:36,512
[■■]

585
00:20:36,846 --> 00:20:38,348
>>RAR!

586
00:20:38,931 --> 00:20:41,976
>>VISIT WWW.WWW.

587
00:20:42,352 --> 00:20:42,393
>>RAR!

588
00:20:43,186 --> 00:20:43,603
>>YOU'RE WATCHING PICNICFACE!

589
00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:47,357
(STATIC)

590
00:20:47,982 --> 00:20:48,691
>>VISIT WWW.WWW.

591
00:20:49,317 --> 00:21:30,941
>>GET THE PLATINUM MEMBER